The Fig and I: Tips for Caring for a Fiddle Leaf Fig Tree

Nature wires us to protect babies with oversized heads. The fiddle leaf fig's big, round leaves make it the houseplant equivalent of a newborn—inevitably the latest "it" plant. I fell in love, bought one ($49, 4 feet tall), and wondered: can I keep it alive?

Plant store advice: indirect light, let soil dry completely before watering, don't repot into too-big pot or it freaks out, sing lullabies if needed. Finicky, special attention required. Great.

Drove home with it in passenger seat (should I have used a car seat?). It looked bigger, more delicate. Had I bought a plant that would shrivel in a week?

No rainforest simulation possible in my humidity-free Northern California bungalow. But indirect light? Neighbors' shrubs block kitchen windows—only watery green light seeps through. Perfect.

Placed it by dishwasher. Looked great. Next morning—gone.

"Seen my fiddle leaf fig?" I asked husband standing where plant was.

"That what that was? It was in my spot, so I moved it. Blocking espresso machine. Plus this is where I tweet."

He tweets a lot.

Found it in living room, forlorn against wall, shielded by curtain. Safe until permanent solution.

"Isn't it cute? Vulnerable like a baby with big round leaves?"

"I like puppies better."

4 PM disaster: sunlight streamed through south window. Had to move plant. Unwieldy, skinny trunk, floppy leaves—tip risk.

Kitchen was best spot. If only husband and plant could share.

Bought Ikea Socker Plant Stand ($5.99, galvanized metal, three rubber wheels). Demonstrated: "Easy to move for tweeting or vacuuming."

"Now I have to vacuum?"

Next morning: family room. "Must have rolled itself."

Next day: bathroom, hogging sink. "Better not use my toothbrush."

Day five: back in living room. Someone watered it. Husband's getting attached. Bedtime stories imminent.

More: Field Guide: Fiddle Leaf Fig, 7 Secrets to Saving a Dying Fiddle Leaf Fig, Consider the Fiddle Leaf Fig. Photo Gallery.

Updated from August 26, 2013 post.