A 2.5–3 inch wasp-like insect with long tail on silver maple, plus bore holes in dead trunk, is a clearwing borer (likely maple callus borer, Synanthedon acerni). These are day-flying moths that mimic wasps; they don't sting.
See: entomology.umn.edu/cues/Web/088ClearwingBorers.pdf
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