The Orchid That Owned Me

The orchid was a housewarming gift from my grandmother—from a family-owned flower shop, not the grocery store impulse section where roots are dead but blossoms feign life. Those $10 orchids lose flowers in days; "solution: buy a new one," said grocery employee. Business booming.

My orchid's superior provenance and satiny white blossoms with fuchsia veins (Moth Orchid/Phalaenopsis) made it feel precious—irreplaceable art. Swapping it out like my parents did with goldfish stung. I settled it on my dresser in warm sunlight and accepted the mission: keep it alive.

Orchids inspire obsession. The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean: hunters track rare varieties globally with disregard for law/life. Meryl Streep infiltrated ghost orchid smugglers. I drank the Kool-Aid.

Using organic orchid food (Organics Rx, $9.95), misting weekly with careful proportions.

Most orchids drown. Tropical but roots need drainage—no pooling water. Some un-pot to shower-water; too risky for me. I water with ice cubes weekly.

Ice melts slowly for full absorption. One cold day I wrapped ice in fuzzy plant-sweater—realized our relationship went deeper than looks.

Months passed. Petals fuller than ever, nearly hand-sized, leaning voluptuously on stakes. Leaves thick, glossy, reflecting sunlight.

Then one day: dead blossom, then another, until one stalk bare. Other stalk smugly perfect. Best of times, worst of times. Options: cut empty stalk completely, or halfway hoping for regrowth. Chose latter.

Orchid mocked my efforts. Worst part: robust orchids everywhere—dentist's office, friend's lobby, restaurant. They must replace weekly. Alternative too terrible: Does everyone know an orchid conspiracy?

Luckily, plants have life cycles—blossoms drop for new buds. Not mutiny, just stalemate.

Recent détente: new leaf growth, coming buds, several luscious flowers thriving (except a small bite...). Experiment succeeding, but Her Highness taught me: never get too comfortable.

More orchid obsession: Sneak Peek: 2015 NY Orchid Show, How Not to Kill An Orchid.