Pruning fruit trees is very important. It allows the sun to reach all areas of the tree so that the fruit will be better and the tree will live longer I was determined not to call someone to do this for me, so I armed myself with a ladder and my best sewing scissors. I managed to get the ladder opened after thirty minutes and a pinched thumb, and then I climbed right up that thing feeling like Jack on the beanstalk.

Then I reached the first limb, and even though I suddenly realized that I knew nothing about pruning fruit trees, I was sure it wouldn't be too hard. I attempted to cut a smaller limb from my tree, and realized that the scissors wouldn't do the job. So I got my husband's chain saw.

It had to be better than my scissors, right? The problem was, I didn't know it would be so loud and it startled me. I threw it on the ground and toppled backwards off the ladder. Luckily, we have soft grass. I went back up the ladder with the chain saw (not before cursing the noisy thing) and started again. I was ready this time.

I tried to cut that same small limb again. Apparently, chainsaws are really sharp as well. I accidentally took out six limbs and went halfway through another one. Oh man, this really ticked me off. My precious tree! 1/4th of it was on the ground. Not to mention the fact that when those limbs fell, one of them hit me right in the forehead and left a big scratch. I would not give up.

This time I got out the hedge shears and climbed up the tree itself. How hard can pruning fruit trees possibly be? I accidentally kicked the ladder over on the way up.

Boiling mad, I waited in that bleeping fruit tree until my husband found me in the tree, bleeding from the head, with dirt stuck to my butt. I walked back to the house as my husband laughed, but as I did I gave that tree a withering look and muttering, "Until next year!