Sarah, a memorial lupine deserves the best chance. Here's the container protocol for Northwest England (Zone 8-9 maritime).
"Small plant in large pot" = trouble. Repot into 6-8 inch pot now. Lupines HATE root disturbance—slide intact root ball, don't tease roots.
Take basal cuttings in spring. Root in sand. Grow replacements. The original may not live forever, but its clones will carry the memory.
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