The Strangest Questions Ever Asked at Extension Offices

University of Georgia Extension agents field countless practical queries—but some are unforgettable. Bibb County agent Aaron Lancaster shared these real questions with a Master Gardener training class. Try answering five yourself!

1. How do you keep birds out of trees?
2. Where can I buy kudzu plants?
3. Can I farm at night?
4. Do you know anybody that grows black widow spiders? I need 3,000.
5. What is the best spray for pre-adolescent fleas?
6. Will a flame-thrower control chickweed? (Answer: yes.)
7. Are horny toads dangerous?
8. Lightning hit my pecan tree… can I still eat the pecans?
9. How do you get rid of tentacles?
10. My father-in-law urinated on my beans to deter deer. Can I still eat them?
11. Should I plow my vegetable garden left-to-right or right-to-left?
12. I smell vinegar in my backyard; does this mean termites?
13. I have fire ants in my sofa. How do I get them out?
14. If I put sugar around my sugar maple, will the leaves be more colorful?
15. If I grind banana peels and spread them, will the grass be greener?
16. Bluejays are attacking my yard! Does Ortho make ‘Jay-Away’?
17. What was the price per pound of green peanuts in 1981?
18. How do I keep rats from chewing my ’92 Buick’s radiator hose?
19. Do boxelder bugs live in boxelder trees?
20. Can I put formaldehyde on my vegetable garden to kill Fusarium wilt?
21. I have a mystery plant in my yard. Do you know what it is?
22. My builder said water my new lawn 3× daily. I’ve done it for seven years—when can I stop?
23. My lawn is infested with piranha! (Poa annua, annual bluegrass).
24. When to plant containerized plants? I stored all my shrubs in the garage before a hurricane and want my garage back.
25. I need a conical evergreen under 3 ft that never needs pruning.
26. How many Krispy Kreme doughnuts will one red wiggler worm eat per day?
27. Where do I buy “human feathers” for composting?
28. When I eat blueberries, my teeth hurt. Why?

Bonus tales: A caller preparing for Atlanta to be under 200 ft of water wanted heirloom hybrid beans and Amish ploughshares. Another agent made a site visit to a nudist resort.