Is Your Yard Tacky? 15 Signs You've Crossed the Line

We've all seen it: the yard that makes neighbors cringe. Tacky isn't about budget—it's about restraint. Here's how to tell if yours needs an intervention.

• Half-barrel planter with petunias, a random rock, and a weed.
• White quartz pebbles in poodle-dropping rows by the driveway.
• Multicolored Christmas lights up year-round.
• Ceramic goose dressed for every holiday (including the dog's birthday).
• Inflatables—any season, any quantity. (Midnight pin attacks are a risk.)
• Rainbow explosion: red, yellow, pink, green, purple, orange, blue—all at once.
• Fake flowers. They melt, fade, collect cat urine. Just plant grass.
• Marigolds, petunias, begonias as mainstays—outdated unless marigolds are for salads.
• Garden gnome armies. Keep them on the perimeter fence, not the front lawn.
• Plastic anything (not resin that mimics stone). Would you put it indoors?
• Metal monarch butterflies bolted to the house—cute in the '70s, never again.
• Car on blocks. Just no.
• Grass so long it hosts wildlife and gives bikini rash.
• Flag overload. One or two tasteful flags; more = clutter.

If you recognize your yard here, edit ruthlessly. If it's your neighbor's, print this anonymously and watch the bonfire.